Avengers: Earth's Most Erratic
by Ninja grape turtle
Summary: A collection of one-shots that revolve around the entire team when they're not fighting crime. Some are co-written with my friend hotterhatter2211. Main pairings include FrostIron and CaptainHawk. Requests are welcome :
1. The Pranksters Three

_**A/N: Here's another little one-shot that my friend hotterhatter2211 and I co-wrote. This one will actually be part of a series of Avengers one-shots I'm working on. The name of this one-shot is 'The Pranksters Three' but the overall name of the story is 'Avengers: Earth's Most Erratic'. There will be a lot of slash, humor, fluff, angst and anything else you can imagine. I'm also taking requests for one-shots so just shoot me a P.M. if you have an idea. I hope you all like it :)**_

_**Pairings included: FrostIron and CaptainHawk**_

_**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything. **_

* * *

When Loki joined the Avengers nobody really expected the changes that were about to occur. They all expected things to calm down and slowly simmer back down to normal, save for a few changes that is. Loki and Tony became official, through some unexpected circumstances Loki and Clint had become the best of friends and, even weirder, Steve had somehow gotten his hands on Viagra. And while the god of Mischief had the support of Clint and Tony, things were still awkward to say the least. Loki and Thor were working to rekindle their brotherly bond while the other Avengers tried to avoid him as much as possible.

However, one thing that did not go unnoticed was the slow yet steady progression of pranks in Avengers Tower. Clint and Tony had always been the resident jokesters, but when their new companion joined in the shenanigans became extreme and overbearing. Well, for the others that is...

* * *

**~Gatorade~**

Steve was in the gym, making his way through yet another series of punching bags. He was on his fourth when he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. It was quiet for a moment before a voice cut through the silence.

"So how many punching bag casulties does that make this year so far?"

Steve smiled and turned to face his boyfriend. Clint smirked, hiding his hands behind his back. Steve cocked an eyebrow at him and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Hey um...what ya got there...?" The super soldier asked trying to peer over the shorter man's shoulder.

Clint feigned innocence as he turned slightly to cover whatever it was that he was hiding. "Why, whatever are you talking about?"

Steve put his hands on his hips and cleared his throat. "Clint..." he stated in a warning tone.

The archer chuckled lightly as he sauntered up to the patiently waiting man. "Anybody ever tell you that you're quite sexy when you do sassy?"

Steve felt his face flush in an emotional state of intense discomfort. He sputtered trying to reply with an intellectual response. "That is so not the point right now!"

The younger of the two laughed as he closed the distance between them by leaning up and placing a quick kiss on the other blonde's lips. Steve relented by kissing back but stopped when he felt an icy coldness press against his cheek. He jumped back in mild shock as he turned his head to see what had caused the sensation. Clint was holding out a bottle of Frost Glacier Freeze Gatorade, a small smile playing across his face.

"Thought you might be thirsty after single handedly comitting mass genocide of the punching bags."

Steve gave out a bellowing laugh as he gratefully accepted the drink. He thanked his by kissing his boyfriend on the cheek and opening the drink up.

"No probem," the archer replied as he too held up his own Gatorade and took a sip. "Well I should get going." He turned around to leave but stopped when the super soldier caught his arm.

"Wait. Do you wanna stay and do some sparring with me?" Steve asked pulling him close.

Clint smiled as he pulled the taller man's head down kissing him once more. "I wish I could but Fury wants me to train some of the new recruits."

Steve grimaced as he let go. "Good luck with that."

Clint started to walk away as he let out a heartful laugh. At the door he stopped and turned. "Don't stay in here too long. Remember that we have that meeting in an hour."

Steve let out a noise of conformation as he took another swig from his bottle. He watched his boyfriend walk away for a minute before returning to his assault of the exercise equipment. Every couple of swings he would pause and take a sip. It wasn't long before he began to feel a strange sensation on his tongue. Thinking it was nothing more than the chilled state of his beverage, he opted to ignore it. Before long, it was time to leave for the meeting.

It wasn't until the middle of the meeting that the full effects started to take place. Every so often, the captain would get an intense urge to scratch his tongue relentlessly. He would find himself desperately grating his teeth across the irritated organ to no avail. Fury glanced his way and looked at him strangely before talking.

"Uh, Steve? Normally I would expect Tony or even Loki or Clint to be fooling around during these things but not you. Care to explain?"

Steve tensed up as he opened his eyes and glanced around at his team who were staring back. Some in concern and some in amusement. Steve chuckled nervously before responding. "No I'm totally fine. Just...does anyone have any water? I think my mouth is irriated from being dry."

"I have some." Tony responded from his seat from beside Loki. He stood up and walked over to Steve, handing him a bottle.

Natasha looked at the billionaire skeptically. "Tony, since when do _you_ carry water around?"

"Since I started making him drink things other than alcoholic beverages." Loki answered before Tony could speak.

Natasha looked at the Asgardian but kept her mouth shut.

"I wouldn't trust them. They tend to screw around with people." Clint said from his spot next to Steve as he eyed the bottle.

Tony gasped in mock hurt. "Le gasp! I can not believe that you guys would think that of myself.'

"I can't believe you just said 'le gasp'." Clint bit back raising an eyebrow.

By this point, Steve had grown tired of waiting and snatched the water bottle out of Tony's hand watching the two continue to bicker back and forth.

"Are you still upset because of the Viagra incident? Because that was two months ago! Let. It. Go." Tony said exasperated.

While they kept arguing as Bruce turned to ask Steve, "When did the effects start?"

Steve thought for a moment then stated, "Well... I was working out in the gym when Clint-" He paused, his eyes widening in realization. He looked over at the archer who suddenly found the ceiling most appealing. "Clint. What did you do?"

Clint glanced at Loki and Tony and then back at the rest of the team. His hand shot out as he pointed an accusing finger towards the god and the billionaire. "They made me do it!"

Tony's jaw dropped in astonishment. "What! You little snitch!"

"Stark...what did you guys do this time?" Fury asked incredulously.

Tony glanced around at the accusing glares before he snapped his own accusing hand towards Loki. "He's the one who found the stuff!"

"What stuff?" Steve asked, eyes wide as he shoved the bottle away.

Loki scoffed and glared his two partners in crime. "You're no better than the archer." He seethed to Tony.

"And you call me a snitch." Clint snorted.

"You stay out of this bird brains." Tony rebuked.

"You two dragged me into this in the first place." Clint said standing up.

"Whoa, hold up! All of you were in on this?" Natasha grounded out. She was met with the guilty eyes of Clint, the annoyed eyes of Tony and the indifferent eyes of Loki.

"Is anyone going to tell me what the stuff was?" Steve demanded.

"Itching powder." Loki replied rolling his eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Bruce face palmed as yet another round of arguing broke out. He vaguely heard Steve ask him what to do. He really needed a vacation.

* * *

**~T.O.M: That Special Lady Time.~**

Loki, Tony and Clint were all kneeling around the current object of interest in their new prank. They all adorned safety goggles and rubber gloves.

"Ok just a little bit. Don't overdo it" Clint cautioned.

"I know stupid mortal." Loki glanced over.

Slowly, he tipped the container, making dash of liquid come out.

"WAIT!" A voice from his side yelled out. Loki jumped, causing the liquid to spill completely.

"Looked at what you made me do!" Loki glared at Tony.

"You should have listened to Clint and been more careful." Tony groaned out. "Now it wont come out right."

"You to, stop with the lover's quarrel!" Clint tried to stop their argument before it started.

"It is not a lover's quarrel." Tony crossed his arms.

It was at this point they were interrupted by the noise of someone walking down the hall.

"Quickly! Get out! Out!" Tony shoved the two out of the opposite door to the hall.

Thor walked into the restroom to relieve himself only to pause at the sight before him. He would have to go speak with the one and only female member of the Avengers. He turned around to go find the assassin.

The three stooges open the door slowly, glance to make sure the coast was clear. When they saw no one, they knew their plan had worked successfully. Wanting to see their good work, they headed in the direction of the living room.

They peaked through the door to see Thor standing next to Natasha.

"My dearest Natasha. I must speak with you." He glanced over at the other Avengers in the room which happened to be Steve and Bruce. "In private please." Thor added.

"Why? If you have something to tell me, It will be fine in front of these two." Natasha gave him a puzzled look.

Thor shifted awkwardly. "I do not believe they would be comfortable with this."

"We can leave." Steve stated as he stood up.

"No. Now you have to stay." Natasha gave them her best glare, forcing Steve to sit down quickly.

"If I must say it in front of them I shall." Thor looked desperately at Natasha.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Out with it!"

"It appears that it might be the around the time of which Sif called her "chocolate eating" time. She has done well with making sure to keep the house clean during this... period." Thor fiddled with his hands.

At this point Bruce stood taking hold of Steve, "Well. I believe it is our que to leave." He started to power walk to the door when Natasha yelled, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT."

"It appears my assumption is correct." Thor nodded to himself.

"Excuse me!? If you must know I am not due for another two weeks." Natasha stood and glared at the god.

"TO MUCH INFO! TO MUCH INFO!" Steve covered his ears, still being dragged away by Bruce. "ABORT MISSION" Steve tried to forget this new development.

Steve booked it to the door and opened it to find Tony, Clint, and Loki huddled near the entrance. He paused long enough for Bruce to catch up and look over his shoulder.

Letting out a sigh, "Not again." He murmured to himself. "I will give you to the count of three to explain what you did this time."

Loki, Tony, and Clint glanced between each other.

"One." Bruce started.

Silence followed.

"Two" A warning in his voice.

Still no answer.

"Thr-" Bruce started to say.

Tony finally replied, "There is a huge mess up stairs in the bathroom. I believe Natasha should go clean up after her self."

Clint nudged Tony in the side whispering, "Stop. Don't push your luck."

Tony rolled his eye, but then noticed a seething Natasha standing directly behind Bruce.

Bruce got out of the way as fast he could.

Natasha folded her arms looking at the three with a menacing glare that could rival Coulson's.

In a moments notice, she smiled, still having the anger in her eyes. This caused the three to freeze out of terror.

"It appears as though you have a bit of a mess to clean up. You better hurry. And if something like this happens again I will slit your throats in your sleep." Natasha stated, a smile still on her face. She walks passed, pushing them out of her way.

"She is definitely up to something." Tony whispered.

"No shit! What were you Sherlock in a past life?" Clint frowned disapprovingly at Tony.

"If she acts like this when she is not on her cycle, I wonder what she acts like when she is." Loki was looking in the direction where she had walked off in.

Tony thought about this for a second before replying, "Good question. We know now what to look for in two weeks. Mark your calanders people!" Tony clapped his hands, "Jarvis. Put it on there for me."

"Sir I don't think I shou-" Jarvis said in his british accent.

"Jarvis." Tony cut him off.

"Alright sir." Jaris would have sighed if he could.

Thor gave them all a confused look, "It is not her time?" He questioned.

"No Thor. It isn't" Bruce answered Thor. "I can't handle this." Bruce shook his head, leaving the room.

Steve followed Bruce out mumbling, "To much information." The trio watched them pass.

"What is up with him?" Tony pointed at the captain of the team.

* * *

**~Bilchsteim~**

It really wasn't Fury's day. He had come into work that afternoon from a particularly stressful meeting with the council, half expecting the familiarity of S.H.I.E.L.D. to provide some sort of relief. Boy had he ever been wrong. He now stood, surveying the destruction as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Slowly, he turned to face the three culprits. He glared at them while gesturing to the mess they had caused.

_~A few hours earlier~_

"Are you sure this is the best idea?" Tony questioned Loki hesitantly.

He, Loki and Clint were currently perched in the highest catwalk, surveying their latest project.

"Yea, I've heard horror stories from Thor about how destructive these things are." Clint cautioned as he nervously glanced around.

"Tis fine you mortals. I personally assure you that these particular Bilchsteim are quite harmless." Loki answered back as he put the final touches on the creatures in question. "We shall release them in 1." Loki lowered the cage. "2." Suddenly without warning he opened the cage the Bilchsteim were residing in and they jumped away. The god of mischief stood up with a satisfied smirk.

"Wait! What the hell happened to 3?" Clint exclaimed in an exasperated manner.

"I find it's far more entertaining to leave everyone guessing." Loki casually replied as he walked back over to his companions, clapping them on the back. He perked up suddenly. "Well what do you know? There's something interesting happening already!" With that, the god disappeared leaving the other two men staring after him in unease.

Clint turned towards Tony slowly. "How you can completely trust him to not prank you in your sleep, I will never know."

Tony just shrugged. "I honestly have no idea either. I just know he's good in bed."

The archer visibly blanched and was about to remark when he and the billionaire suddenly heard a loud crash coming from the main communication room. They looked at each other in slight concern before taking off in the direction of the noise. When they got there, nothing but destruction met their eyes. They noticed the god standing to the side, laughing his ass off.

"What the- You said it would be safe!" Tony yelled.

"Relax. They aren't hurting anyone." Loki said while trying to control his laughter.

"Not the point y-" Clint was cut off by Maria and the other Avengers walking in.

Clint groaned in discontent. "Not again."

"What's the deal on the situation?" Maria asked a crew member who was wringing his hands in agitation.

"Um well...we've managed to capture the the creatures with the numbers 1 and 3 on them but...we can't seem to find number 2."

Maria sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. "Well find it before Fury gets here." She commanded. "Now."

The other agent scrambled out frantically.

Maria groaned. "We need to find number 2 before anything else happens."

Thor, who had been kneeling near the cage looking at the Bilchsteim in slight wonder stood up and looked at the female agent in confusion. "I believe I heard something about a clog on floor three if that's what you're looking for."

The rest of the Avenger snapped their heads towards the god of thunder in bewilderment.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Maria demanded as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry, were you not talking of the clog in the bathrooms? These mortal terms still very much confuse me."

"What? No. There's still one more creature loose in the building. This one, like the others has a number on it and seeing as how we've captured number 1 and number 3, it has to be number 2." Maria explained as she tried to maintain patience with the Asgardian.

Thor let out a slight laugh much to the chagrin of the others in the room. "Oh no. You mortals are mistaken. There are only two of the Bilchsteim. These ones right here." He gestured towards the cage and turned back towards his confused teammates. "I do not sense anymore in the building."

"What?" Maria demanded as she let her hands fall to her sides.

"It is strange though," Thor continued ignoring the question. "Not many Asgardians are skilled with transporting the Bilchsteim from realm to realm. A few such as my brother..."

Everyone in the vicinity turned towards the god in question who was slowly inching his way out of the room. Tony and Clint, who had also noticed this, both reached out and yanked him back.

Bruce groaned as he took deep breaths to try and calm himself. "What. The. Hell. Did. You. Three. Do. _This._ Time."

Tony tried to look nonchalant while saying, "I'm sorry. He said _Loki_. Not Tony. Not Clint. Tony and Clint had nothing to do with this. So I'm gonna go now."

He started to walk away when his Asgardian boyfriend spoke up. "Fine then. No sex for you for three months." He smirked triumphantly when the former playboy stopped dead in his tracks.

"Wait what?" He demanded looking horrified.

"Oh my God you guys! To much info! I told you guys never to talk about that in front of me! It's bad enough I have to hear you!" Clint glared as he smacked them on the back of their heads.

"So what I'm getting from all this is that all _three_ of you were involved?" Maria glared at them disapprovingly with her hands on her hips.

"Oh I'm sorry." Loki stated as he turned towards her. "I did not realize that your meager Midgardian technology was not as durable as that of Asgard."

Loki continued with the jibes for awhile before Clint realized that the others were no longer looking at them, but behind them. Slowly, the archer turned to see what they were looking at and was met with one seriously pissed of director. Clint felt his eyes widen as he turned towards Loki and desperately gestured for him to stop. Loki stopped mid sentence and looked at his friend in slight amusement.

"Dear Clinton I do not understand. Are you having what you Midgardians call a seizure?"

It was then that Fury decided to make himself known. He gruffly cleared his throat as he folded his hands behind his back. Loki and Tony glanced back at him in understanding.

"Oh Directory Fury! My what a pleasant surprise. Did you do something different with your eye patch? It really does bring out your other eye."

"No." Fury dead panned.

"Well if you ever decide to, the All Father has many designs that would be quite flattering."

Fury's eye twitched as he turned towards everyone else. "Anyone who doesn't have a V.I.P. spot on my hit list, out."

Everyone hurriedly ran out of there like they had just witnessed the plague. In the midst of the madness, the team's resident marksman tried to make his escape as well but he was stopped when two pairs of hands tugged him back rather forcefully. He glared murderously at his supposed best friends as they held him in place.

Fury stood there for a few moments in quiet displeasure before he spoke again. "So who's going to be responsible for cleaning this up?"

The trio stood in silence for a few moments before Loki walked up to the caged creatures. "Well that sounds like fun but I really must be returning the Bilchsteim to Asgard so...fare thee well." And with that he and the creatures disappeared.

Tony's jaw dropped in shock as Clint fumed next to him. "That little fucker!"

Fury threw his hands up in the air as if he had given up. "Just clean this the hell up." He stalked out of the room silently grumbling to himself.

Tony was silent a few moments before he turned to his remaining friend. "So, looks like it's just you and me bud." He said as he wrapped an arm around Clint's shoulders.

Clint let out a small chuckle before he slowly started backing away. "Actually I have something to do so...bye!" And he disappeared into the nearest vent.

"Oh come on." Tony threw his hands up. "Really guys? Really? Fine! Jarvis clean this up pronto."

The British accented voice of Tony's A.I. answered. "I am sorry but there appears to be a virus in place and my protocols have been over written and..." he trailed off leaving the billionaire hanging.

"Traitors! All of you!"

* * *

**~It's Not Easy Being Green~**

The really big screw up occurred when the three pranksters decided to pull one over on Bruce. It had, yet again, been another normal day. No threats. No paper work. Just a day of relaxation. Well it was until Tony came crashing through the doors of Bruce's lab. Bruce felt his head jerk up as he was torn from the science text he had been reading. Tony looked just a bit more riled up more than usual.

"Hey Bruce old buddy." The billionaire fidgeted nervously as he wrung his hands around his shirt.

The gamma radiation expert sighed as he closed his book and focused all his attention on the younger man in front of him. "What happened?"

"I...well...is this normal?" Tony lifted his shirt off his head to reveal his torso. Which was green. Really green.

Bruce felt his eyes widen in shock as his heart sped up. "Tony! What the hell happened? Why are you green? Om shit. Um ok don't panic. Everything will be ok. Oh shit." He desperately tried taking deep breaths to calm his heart. An idea struck him. "Maybe Loki will know."

He stood up and raced off to find the god. Tony just stood there suddenly wondering if this is was a good idea. He was torn out of his thoughts as a voice sounded from above. "Really this is your dumbest attempt yet." Clint was suddenly standing in front of him giving him a calculating look.

"What do you mean _'your'_ idea. This one was all you. You thought of it to begin with." Tony poked a finger at Clint's chest.

"I never said to try it on Bruce! I said Steve or Thor. Not the scientist with the big green problem that _I_ will probably have to end up taking care of!"

Before Tony could respond, Bruce burst through the lab doors, dragging a smirking Loki behind him. He gestured wildly toward Tony in apprehension. "See! What do you make of it? Is there anything you can do? Maybe I should run some tests and oh shit. Clint get out of here. I don't want you to get affected as well."

Clint tried objecting but Bruce would have none of it. The archer begrudgingly walked out as he kept casting worried glances toward his friends. He stood in the doorway not quite leaving even though Bruce looked like he meant business. Bruce reacted by pushing him out all the way and slamming the door on his face. He turned to Loki in a frenzy as the god started to speak.

"You know I have seen this before now that you mention it. It is what we Asgardians call Grønn Sykdom. Very nasty and kinda serious."

Bruce felt himself start to panic even more. He frantically started running around the lab trying to figure out what he would need to contain and get rid of it. Tony shot Loki a glare as he finally spoke up for the first time in moments.

"Too far you idiot."

All sound ceased. Bruce slowly looked up as he gently set down his equipment. For the first time, he seemed to finally realize _who_ was all in, well sort of in the lab with him. Loki, Tony and Clint. The absolute worst combination in history in possibly everybody's opinion. The doctor slowly took off his glasses. Taking deep breaths he motioned them towards the door.

"Get out." Bruce looked up at the two in his area, his eyes turning green. "_NOW._"

Tony ran for the door, only to realize the god was not following. "Loki. We should do as the good doctor says." Tony opened the door.

"I would rather stay, thank you." Loki was still standing next to Bruce. Bruce was now bending over in agony about to transform into the raging green hulk.

Tony rolled his eyes getting a bit more nervous. "I know you still have a tiff with the Hulk, but seriously not the best time." Tony kept trying to convince the god to leave.

At this point The Hulk was now present about to let the god have a beating only to stop when a flash of purple and black got in his way. "Now buddy you need to calm down." Clint motioned to the Hulk.

While Loki got distracted by the man standing between him and his demise, Tony took hold of his color forcing him to exit the lab.

"Why can't I stay!" Loki wined.

"Because the last time you and the Hulk were around each other, it didn't end well. And I would rather not have you become another pancake." Tony snapped shutting the door behind him, leaving Clint to deal with a very upset Hulk.

"Ok Jade Jaws. Calm down. It's ok now." Clint said trying desperately to soothe his friend.

"But Cupid! Wanna smash puny god! And you were part of it." Hulk whined out still very very irked.

"I know I know. Believe me. I wanna smash puny god too but I suppose we can't because that would make Tony sad. And, in my defense, I wanted to prank Steve or Thor."

Hulk ceased his small rampage as he glanced the archer in question. "Cupid was not trying to hurt Hulk?"

"Of course not. Never. I promise." Clint offered up a small smile as the green monster calmed down. Well as calm as the Hulk could ever be.

"Yay! Let's go prank others!" Before the archer could say or do anything, the monster took off down the hallways screaming "Pranks! Pranks!"

"Wait...that is not what I meant!" Clint yelled after him.

"Do I even want to know what happened this time?" A voice sounded from the doorway.

Clint turned and saw Steve standing their, eyebrows raised. Clint chuckled as he walked over. "Didn't you hear? The Hulk has the sudden urge to prank.."

_Yea things had definitely changed the day Loki, Tony and Clint had become best friends..._

* * *

**_ A/N: I hope you all liked the first installment! Please review or feel free to message me!_**


	2. Of Roller Coasters and Team Bonding

**A/N: Hey guys! Here is yet another one-shot that I wrote with hotterhatter2211 (I am having so much fun with these). This next one-shot is actually some what based on true events. A lot of this did happen when she and I went to the amusement park for her sister's birthday. If anything, her reactions are a lot like Tony's and Loki's and mine are a lot like Clint's and occasionally Bruce's... I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as we had fun writing it!**

* * *

"How much longer till we get there?" Bruce wined from the back seat. "This is taking forever"

Pepper rolled her eyes from the driver's seat. "We have another 10 minutes or so."

Bruce let out an annoyed sigh. Betty patted the man on the back. "There, there." She said sarcastically.

"I don't know what you are so excited about. We are going to die." Tony exclaimed exasperated.

"What do you mean you are going to die? How about you sit 'dead hooker'. I will be the first to go." Loki seethed from the trunk of the van.

Clint rolled his eyes, "Stop being such Debbie downers."

Thor glanced confused at the archer. "My brother's name is not Debbie. He is Loki."

"It's a reference to Saturday Night Live." Steve quipped up. The Avengers gave him a strange look, with the exception of Tony.

"Hey! SNL is a great way to catch up on the times." Tony told them all as he accidentally elbowed Natasha from the middle seat in the front.

"Hands to yourself." Natasha pushed his hand away.

"That wasn't even my hand!" Tony exclaimed.

"Keep them to yourself." Natasha said again.

Loki heard the commotion and yelled from the trunk, "Do something like that again, Stark, and no sex for a month."

Tony groaned, "You always say that!"

"That is because it always works." Loki responded calmly. The others nodded in agreement. Tony quietly grumbled to himself, "It wasn't even my hand."

Steve shifted next to Clint, "I haven't been to an amusement park since I was younger. I wonder how much has changed." He started to question.

Jane looked over to Steve from next to him. "I don't know what they were like then, but they are pretty fun now!" She smiled at him.

Bruce turned sharply, "What do you mean 'pretty fun'? They are amazing!" He exclaimed. The Avengers looked at him strangely but continued on there way.

It was at this point they pulled up to the parking lot. Pepper pulled out her business credit card and handed it to the man. Soon they were driving down the aisle trying to find a spot. They found a spot fairly far back. Slowly, they all got out of the car and stretched a bit.

"It feels nice to get out of that cramped car." Thor exclaimed.

The Avengers all started to walk towards the entrance forgetting something very important. A knock sounded from the trunk. The majority of the group did not hear the ever so soft knock. Pepper turned slowly.

It was then that she realized who had made that noise. Quickly, she unlocked the doors and opened the truck to find a disgruntled Loki.

"I am so sorry!" She exclaimed apologetically.

"I will skin you alive." He seethed as he tripped out of the car.

She in turn glared at the god. "Excuse me?"

He felt her gaze and awkwardly said, "I mean... I am going to go find Tony." He walked quickly to catch up with the group.

"I thought so." She followed Loki.

They made their way to the ticket booth and soon they stood in front of the window. Pepper, again, took out her business card and handed it to the cashier.

Betty looked up at Pepper, "How much does it cost?" She asked as she started to fiddle with her purse.

"Don't worry about it!" Pepper stated, "Tony is paying for it all." She smiled.

"What! I don't even want to be here!" Tony yelled as his assistant.

The cashier smiled at the group and handed out wrist bands, "I also am going to have to stamp you with this before you can get on the rides." The worker explained as she picked up a stamp.

Bruce pushed his way through the group and shoved his arm at the worker. The others were startled by the movement but decided to ignore it. After a good minute all the Avengers had the stamps on their arms or hands.

Steve glanced at the code on his arm and froze. "Why are these numbers 666?" He looked worriedly at the group. "Did I just sell my soul?" He frighteningly asked.

Clint also looked at the numbers and sure enough, there were 3 sixes. "Yep! It appears we did." Clint told Steve.

Loki got a mischievous look on his face before saying, "Of course. My daughter, Hela, owns this park."

"I don't want to be here any more." Steve looked pale.

"You will be fine as long as you don't sign anything." Tony told him adding on to the prank.

It was at this moment that a young boy about the age of 8 came up to the Captain, "Will you sign this please?" The eyes of a innocent child looked up at him.

Clint, Loki, and Tony chuckled at the timing.

Steve had gotten even paler at this point, "I- I can't!" He awkwardly said.

Tony walked up to the child and said, "I'll sign it for you!"

Steve's eyes got big as Tony autographed the child's picture.

"What are you doing! You just said not to sign anything!" Steve exclaimed concerned.

Tony rolled his eyes. "My boyfriend is the father of Hela. I am set for life." He grinned at the man.

"Is this true brother?" Thor was also getting a bit bewildered.

Steve turned to find Loki, "Can you help me?" He asked the god.

Clint finally laughed, "It is just a joke Steve! Nothing to worry about." He patted the man on his back.

Steve let out a sigh of relief. "That not funny." He now glared at the three who were giggling.

"Ok guys! Enough chit-chat! The rides are that way! Let's go go go!" Bruce shouted as he started to shove Tony and Steve towards the rides.

Natasha looked over to Bruce, "Are you sure you are going to be ok with this?"

Bruce gave her a knowing look. "I will be fine. Unless we don't head over there right now." He was still shoving Tony and Steve.

The ride he had chosen was the biggest, and also wooden.

"Why did you have to chose that one! It could fall apart in 5 seconds." Tony pointed towards the ride.

Bruce smiled happily and said, "It is the biggest ride here."

"Does that make a difference about the breaking part!" Tony yelled at the man.

Bruce stood there a second in thought. "Yes. Yes it does." He nodded his head.

Tony let out a groan. It was going to be a long day.

After a good 15 minutes in line they finally were getting on the ride. Loki and Clint rushed to the back wanting to be in the final seats. Trying to push each other to get there, they both ended up right next to one another.

Ahead of them sat Thor and Jane, followed by, Natasha and Steve, after them was Pepper and Betty, And in the front sat Bruce with the only open seat left for Tony.

"I hate you all." Tony glared back at the group, taking the seat in the front.

Loki was looking around the contraption when his eyes found a sign. He read this sign out loud, "No smoking on the ride." Loki paused, "Who would smoke on the ride?" He questioned incredulously.

Behind them a group of riders stopped. In the mix stood a man with a lit cigarettes.

"Apparently them." Clint replied chuckling.

The gears shifted and the ride began to move forward.

Thor announced, "It had begun!" This caused Jane to laugh at his antics.

Bruce already had his hands up waiting for it to go faster. Tony was next to him praying to the gods that he didn't believe in.

Natasha just had a smirk on her face waiting for more movement. Steve was getting excited about the first roller coaster he had been on in a long time.

Pepper and Betty were just enjoying their time with the group.

Loki and Clint were still trying to push each other to get more room in the back. There was a small click when they reached the top of the slope before they were off.

Through the ride you could hear laughs from the women. Thor acted like a dog on the ride, a tongue out of his of excitement. Screams of joy from Bruce, Clint, and Loki, and curse words forming in Tony's mouth. It was over in a couple of seconds. The ride came to a stop and the belts were unattached.

"We are so lucky we are not dead from the bolts coming off." Tony gasped through, trying to control his nerves.

"Well that was quite enjoyable." Bruce stated ignoring Tony's words. "Should we do it again?"

"No." Tony said roughly.

Pepper rolled her eyes at he so called boss. "You ride around in your suit. What makes this so different?" She questioned.

"I built that. Everything I build is top notch. I can't say the same for these rides." He replied sharply as he took a drink of his 'sippy cup' full of 'juice'.

"No more talking! Next ride!" Bruce dashed off towards the other rides as the others stared after him in bewilderment.

"Ok...I'm not the only one witnessing this. Right?" Tony asked as he turned to look at the others, his thumb jerking towards the gamma radiation scientist that had taken off.

"Yeah, we see it too." Betty responded as she chuckled at her boyfriend's behavior.

For the next few hours, the group continued to follow Bruce's lead. Some without any regrets, others cursing the day the scientist was ever born. They went on various rides including, the Mumba, the Boomerang, the Half Pipe, and the Dragon. One ride in particular called the Spider, had quickly become one of Clint's favorites for a few reasons. They had all been seated on the ride and ready to go. While they were waiting, Tony was desperately trying to get the seat that he and Loki were currently occupying to stop spinning around on its own. In Clint's opinion however, he was only making it worse.

As the ride started up, the archer could hear Bruce let out a delighted yell from a few seats away. Clint rolled his eyes and chuckled at his friend. As the ride began to pick up speed, he could hear his billionaire friend let out a few choice words.

"Shit! Shit shit shit! Goddamn shit!" He yelled, clutching the arm of Loki in desperation.

Clint had to laugh even harder as they were turned upside down and spun from side to side. It was in the midst of all this that he got a 'brilliant' idea.

"Hey! Hey Tony!" He yelled across the ride to his still cursing friend. Tony's eyes snapped up to his and Clint continued. "It's not so bad if you pretend that your're Spider-Man!"

Tony just stared at him for a few seconds before flashing him his middle finger. Clint just laughed even harder, especially when Loki and Thor laughed too.

_~Meanwhile in a high school not to far away~_

_Peter Parker jerked his head around in confusion. His girlfriend, Gwen Stacy looked at him in concern._

_"Everything ok, Peter?" She questioned as she placed a tentative hand on his shoulder._

_It was silent for a moment before he turned back to her. "Yeah. I just," he looked around at his surroundings again. "I just thought I felt a disturbance in the force."_

_~/~_

After the Spider came the Ferris Wheel. Before they made it there Tony had managed to sneak off with his 'juice' and was no longer in there presence. They were allowed 3 people per seat. Clint, Loki and Thor took one. Thor had jumped on to see how high the wheel would go. Steve got stuck between Pepper and Natasha.

Bruce sat with his girlfriend on the last one.

The ride was slow to get started. Once at the top, Clint and Thor began to shake the unsteady seat. Loki for once grasped the seat with a bit of fear. "Stop moving so much." He snapped at the two.

Thor, not hearing the comment kept moving and looking over the land. "I can see far on this Midgardian contraption! It is indeed well!" He then pointed to a direction behind them. "What is that I see?" Thor questioned. Loki's grip became tighter.

Clint noticed the gods discomfort and began to move more than necessary. He to pointed in the direction Thor was pointing. "You mean that over there. Loki, why don't you look?" Clint grinned down at him.

"I do not favor this ride. I feel that Tony was indeed correct about the bolts on this one ride." Loki managed to state.

Clint let out a sound of understanding before moving some more looking down. This caused the seat to swing in the opposite direction.

"Stop moving." Loki seethed at Clint. In turn Clint gave him a humorous smile.

Thor looked at his distressed brother. "I do not understand, what is upsetting you?" Thor shook the chair as he tried to get a better look at his brother.

"Quit it you idiotic fool." Loki glared at his brother. Finally the wheel began to move once more. Loki relaxed a bit while they went around the wheel twice only for it to stop once more at the top.

"I think those men working this machine have something against myself." Loki ground out.

Clint let out a heartful laugh. "Sure they do, Loki!" He leaned in his seat once more, tipping the cart precariously forward.

Loki clutched the handle bar tightly as he turned to glare at the archer. "Stop. That."

"What? Oh you mean this?" Clint repeated his earlier action, this time earning a few curse words from the god.

"Yes that!"

As the two continued their 'playful' argument at the top, Pepper casually looked back at them from where she, Steve and Natasha were sitting.

"Do you think we should do something?" She asked as she casually turned back around.

Steve glanced back to see where Pepper had been staring before he turned back to face the front. "Nah. Best to just let this one take its course."

By the time they got off the Ferris Wheel, Tony was waiting for them at the exit as he waved nonchalantly, Loki was shaking in relief and anger and Bruce was demanding they go on another ride.

Loki stalked up to Tony and placed his hands on his hips as he scowled. "Where the hell were you, Stark?"

Tony blinked in surprise as he took yet another sip of his drink. "What do ya mean?"

"You know _damn_ well what I mean. Where did you go when you left me to suffer that death trap alone?" The god gestured behind him to the Ferris Wheel.

Tony threw his hands up in the air as he nodded in agreement. "You see! This is exactly what I've been saying since we got here. Death traps. All of them."

Loki nodded as he leaned into his boyfriend's side, still trying to catch his bearings. As Tony slung an arm around him, Loki glanced around. It was then that his eyes fell upon a ride that caught his interest.

"What about that ride over there?" He asked as he started walking towards it.

Bruce glanced at the direction that Loki was heading in and shouted in excitement. "Yes! I _love_ that ride! Let's do it!"

When Tony saw the ride in question, he felt his heart stop and his eyes widened horror. "Oh no. Oh hell no!"

The ride happened to be the Zoom Drop Tower. He hated that ride above all others. No way in hell was he getting on. "Hey wait!" He called out to Loki, causing him to turn around. "You just got off the Ferris Wheel and said you _hated_ it! This involves an ungodly height as well!"

Loki glanced from the tower back to Tony. "It is a bit different is it not?" He raised an eyebrow.

"But you just said it was a death trap! That one is even worse then the other! Please can we not go on that one." Tony begged. Loki debated for a minute before stating, "No. We shall go on this ride." He took hold of Tony's hand and dragged him in the line.

The group watched them wonder off. Bruce was about to follow their lead when Betty caught him by his collar. "We should go on the tunnel of love." She gave him a smile that said he had no other choice.

"But I want to go on the Zoom Drop Tower!" Bruce said exasperated.

Jane turned to Thor, "I agree with Betty, we should go on that ride. It will be so romantic." Jane had a dreamy look in her eyes.

"I would rather not go onto the maidens boat of love. Shall we pick another." Thor grinned. Jane turned and glared at the god.

"No. I want to go on that one." Jane crossed her arms.

While the two other couples argued Steve looked shyly at Clint. "Um. Would you... Er. Can we go on the Tunnel of Love?" Steve asked Clint, his face bright red.

Clint let out a little chuckle. "Sure, Steve lets go." He took hold of the captains hand as they walked towards the ride.

Natasha and Pepper was stuck with the last two last bickering couples.

Pepper coughed loudly to gain there attention. Here smile was a commanding one. "Why don't you just go on the ride. Even Clint is doing it."

Bruce and Thor glanced between each other. "I refuse." Thor crossed his arms, Bruce nodded in agreement.

Natasha rolled her eyes at the two men. She latched her arms between the two couple's girlfriends.

"Ignore the men. They just have penises." Natasha started to take all the females in the group towards the tunnel. "We can just be lesbos for the rest of the day." The others laughed at her statement.

Tony, who still wasn't to far away heard this comment. "Wait. What? Can we go on that ri-"

"No." Loki cut Tony off, still dragging him in the other direction.

Bruce and Thor stayed back from both groups.

"We are going to be in trouble, aren't we?" Bruce questioned.

Thor shook his head vigorously, "Indeed we are."

Loki and Tony now stood in line. Tony kept taking deep breaths trying to keep himself calm.

"Come on up!" The man in charge of the ride motioned them forward.

Loki continued to drag the reluctant Tony on to the ride.

Tony paused in front of the man, "Can you tell me, how often is this ride checked?"

The man gave him a puzzled look. "Every morning."

"I see. Ok." Tony started to walk towards the seat again only to stop and turn to ask another question.

"So you don't make sure everything is operational every hour or so?" Tony made a twisted face as he said this.

"No. Only once every morning." The man was now frowning.

Tony shook his head. "Of course. Cause that is normal." He again started to get to his seat.

Again he stopped , "How many people are inju-" Tony began to ask.

"Stark. If you do not sit down I shall make sure to make your life a living hell." Loki glared at him. Tony quickly took his seat next to Loki. The belts came down and attached to the group of riders.

He now sat taking even deeper breaths. As Loki said, "This shall be fun." Slowly they lifted off the ground. Tony shut his eyes trying to ignore the ride. At about the half-way mark, Tony took hold of Loki's hand unable to let the fear go.

Loki looked at the distress man next to him. He gave him a small smile. "It is alright, Anthony. All will be fine." He gently squeezed the man's hand back. Tony opened his eyes to see Loki with a gentle smile.

"Of course it is." Tony mumbled out.

"And if you are injured in any way, I shall hunt down every worker in this park and make sure they are no longer breathing after tonight." Loki nodded to Tony.

Tony gave a laugh at the trickster god. "I would rather you didn't."

Before Loki could reply the plummeted down towards the Earth. Tony's grip on Loki's hand tightened. It was over in seconds time. Tony was trying to catch his breath as the god next to him was giggling uncontrollably.

"That was far more entertaining the I believed it would." Loki paused for a second. "It sort of reminded me of Bifrost." He commented.

Tony, finally able to breathe normally, gave a small laugh, "Of course you would be ok with this one."

Once the seats were released, Tony jumped out of the chair and ran for the exit, now he was dragging the god. Loki giggled the entire way.

At the exit Tony ran into both Bruce and Thor.

"Why are you guys here? I thought you were going on the love boats, or whatever." Tony said dryly.

"We will probably be in trouble for that later..." Bruce mumbled out.

"We need a favor, man of iron. We would like to enjoy your alcoholic beverage!" Thor yelled out. This caused many people to stare in there direction. Tony started to curse at Thor.

"Keep it down! I am not allowed to even have this here." Tony motioned to his bottle.

A cough sounded behind Tony. He turned to find a security guard standing in front of him. "I am sorry, Mr. Stark, but we ask that you either exit the area with that, or throw it away." The man said pointing at the bottle.

"Well! Looks like I can't be here anymore. Time to go." He started to head for the exit only to have Loki reach and grab his bottle.

"Here you are sir. I do apologize for the inconvenience." Loki handed the security guard the bottle. The man nodded and took the bottle. He turned to leave them on their way.

Tony let out a cry of anguish. "Why would you do that?"

"I believe I told you once before that I do not like you to drink so much. This just makes it so you cannot do so anymore at this park." Loki gave him a pleased look.

"You did that on purpose!" Tony exclaimed. Pointing at the god.

It was Loki's turn to glare, "And how, may I ask, would I have done so?"

Tony paused a moment, pursing his lips, "I don't know. But you did!"

"Are you calling me a liar, Stark?" Loki's words now had a sharp edge.

Tony scoffed, "That is not what I meant."

"I shall talk to you later about this Stark, for now we must head to the exit of the "Love Boat" ride." Loki turned on his heels, back to Tony and headed off, leaving the others behind.

"That is totally not what I meant!" Tony called after him. He let out a groan. "I am so in trouble."

Bruce looked in the direction of where Loki had gone, "Join the party." He said dryly.

_~Meanwhile at the Tunnel of Love~_

"This is going to be fun." Steve stated as he wrapped his arms around Clint's waist and rested his head on the other blonde's shoulder. "I remember Bucky used to take girls on this ride all the time and I'd always wonder what it'd be like to share something special like this with someone I loved. None of the girls were ever interested in me though."

Clint turned around in his boyfriend's arms and looked him in the eyes. "Well that was their loss." He smiled at Steve and pulled him down for a kiss which the super soldier gladly returned.

"So are we going to have to watch you two mack out the entire time on this ride or...will we actually be able to enjoy the ride?" A teasing voice broke their moment as they turned to face the four females in their group.

Natasha, the one who had spoken, wore an amused grin on her face as she quirked an eyebrow at the pair. Pepper only smiled warmly at them as she looked back to make sure Betty and Jane were still with them and not off planning the demise of their boyfriends. Steve looked at the two in confusion as he searched the nearby crowds for Bruce and Thor. When he didn't see them, he turned back to the two women.

"Where are-," he began.

"Don't know." Jane grumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Clint and Steve glanced at each other before Clint turned back and asked the next question. "Aren't they gonna-,"

Again, the boys were interrupted, this time by Betty. "No. No they're not." She snapped as her eyes flashed in an annoyed manner.

Clint quickly threw up his hands in surrender. He and Steve turned wide-eyed towards the two resident redheads in their little group.

"Um...what?" Steve asked pointing to the two still fuming women.

"Don't ask." Pepper answered. "Long story."

"Let's just say that you two and Tony and Loki are the only guys not on their shit list right now." Natasha added as she smirked at them.

"Ah ok then." Clint said as he grabbed Steve's hand and dragged him towards the entrance. As they got up there, the guy who ran the ride eyed them skeptically as well as the four women.

"Huh." He murmured as he opened the velvet rope to the ride. He and Clint made eye contact as the archer and his boyfriend walked past and Clint slightly tensed.

"What?" Clint demanded as he stopped to confront the man.

The man turned away from them, ignoring the question.

Clint bristled at the way he was blown off by the man and would've said something else had Steve not gently urged him onward.

"Come on, hun." Steve said as he wrapped an arm around the younger man's shoulders.

The man running the ride glanced back at the two men and flinched when he saw the grey-blue eyes of Steve glaring back at him. He shuddered before turning back to let the women onto the ride.

"So is there some sort of gay pride thing going on today or what?"

The four women paused and glared dangerously at the man, having not missed the exchange between him and Clint just a minute ago.

"Why? You gotta problem with that?" Natasha demanded, hands on hips. As a last minute decision, she linked an arm with Pepper who pulled the shorter woman closer.

The guy's eyes widened in terror as he stammered for a response. "Uh, I um...no. I just..I uh...please enjoy the ride."

"Yea that's right." Betty commented as she and Jane held hands and entered the tunnel.

~/~

"I mean what the hell was that look he gave us?" Clint asked as he and Steve floated down the river.

Steve sighed as he tightened his grip on the other blonde man and pulled him closer. He kissed the spiky haired head that came to rest on his shoulder as he rubbed circles on Clint's arm. "Don't pay too much attention to him hun. Let's just enjoy the ride." He smiled gently when Clint turned his eyes to his.

Clint smiled in return as he leaned up slightly and kissed his boyfriend softly. "You're right. I'm sorry."

He was about to settle back down when Steve stopped him by capturing his lips again. They shared a few more kisses before Steve wrapped his arms around Clint again. They stayed like that the rest of the ride. When they got off, they walked to the exit and were greeted by a forlorn looking Tony, Bruce and Thor and one peeved looking Loki.

Steve leaned down to Clint and asked in confusion, "What the hell did we miss while were in the tunnel?"

Clint shrugged and shook his. "I have no idea and I have a feeling we don't want to know."

They wandered over to join their friends as they waited for the girls to exit.

The next ride they decided to ride was another of Loki's choices. They had been thinking of which one when Loki got a mischievous look on his face.

"I would love to ride that one there." He pointed towards the Tornado.

Bruce of course was ecstatic to ride anything. Thor was also up for the challenge. Out of all the females, Natasha was the only one that agreed to get on the spinning ride. Clint and Steve also agreed to go on it. That only left Tony.

"I really don't think I can handle the spinning." Tony shifted.

Loki's grin grew a bit. "And why not?"

"I think I might puke if I got on it." Tony replied, getting a bit nervous at the god's smirk.

"Oh. I think you will get on this ride." Loki walked up to the shorter man. He then leaned down close to the man's ear, whispering something that only Tony and he could hear.

Tony's face changed to one of being pleased. Slowly Loki pulled away licking his lips before turning away from Tony.

Tony clapped his hands together. "It appears I will be going on this ride." He jumped in line.

They were all standing next to each other. On the machine. A little buckle was the only thing attaching them to the sides.

The worker explained the rules and they were off. Almost everyone was laughing with the exception of Tony. He was mostly groaning out of dizziness. This caused Loki to laugh even louder.

The ride only went faster and faster. Soon Tony looked green. "I think I am going to hurl!" He moaned. After a good 3 minutes the spinning the ride slowed to a stop. Tony leaned over trying to regain his senses.

"That was awful." He kneeled over. Loki was laughing at him so hard to the point where he had tears coming down his eyes.

He made his way to the exit of the ride. He then sat down on a bench not to far away. Leaning back he tried to regain his balance.

"Are you alright?" Pepper asked worriedly. "I am going to get you some 7-Up." She ran to go get some.

"It was totally worth it." He said quietly as the other Avengers surrounded him.

Loki chuckled again, "Oh by the way Stark. You should learn to watch what you say around me from now on."

"I still didn't mean it like that." He mumbled out again.

"What ever you say. And one other thing. What I said before the ride. That was a lie." Loki took a seat next to Tony.

Tony cursed. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you."

"You do learn quickly." Loki gave him a wink. "Perhaps I will still do what I mentioned before. We shall see later tonight."

"I really don't want to hear any more of this." Clint rolled his eyes at the two.

At this point Pepper had come back with the drink. Tony took a couple of sips. "I think I should be fine now." He stood. "Yep. I think I will be fine." He took a couple of breaths but finally was well enough to walk around.

"That is good. Now. To the next roller-coaster." Bruce said. At this point the the Avengers turned to look at the scientist as if he were nuts.

"No more roller-coasters. Please." Tony asked.

"Fine. How about the bumper boats then?" Bruce said annoyed.

Tony nodded. "I am perfectly ok with that.

About an hour later, the Avengers had gone on the the bumper boats at least five times. It was all fun and games the first four times. That is until all the guys decided to turn the ride into race of sorts that quickly escalated into an ego match. This then resulted in Loki freezing the water so he could 'get ahead' and Thor jumping from his boat to tackle his brother in a 'good natured' game of wrestling.

After that fiasco they decided it would be a great idea to go to the race track located in the park. They just really needed to stop coming up with all these ideas. This had been one ride that Tony had actually been really excited about. When he saw the sign, he happily bounded over to the entrance and waited impatiently for everybody to catch up.

"Come on guys!" He whined still slightly tipsy from earlier. "Let's go!"

"Tony, are you sure this is the best idea?" Pepper asked cautiously. "Remember what happened the last time we were at a race track?"

Tony scoffed as he glared at his assistant. "Please Pepper. That was a few years ago. Ivan isn't around and," he paused as a round of hiccups began. "But this is now so...yay!" With that said, he turned around and ran inside.

The others shared a weary glance with each other before they reluctantly followed the billionaire. It actually wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. Sure there were a few run ins with the wall and possibly each other from time to time but it really it wasn't so bad. After the race track, it was late in the afternoon and some of them were getting tired.

Most of the group had decided at this point it was time to go. After a small vote it was time to leave. Bruce was complaining the entire time they walked to the car stating, "But we have to go on all rides again!" Which the others ignored.

At one point back to the car Loki called Clint and Tony over to have a short conversation.

"I would like to tell you both something important." He paused for dramatic effect. His grin grew as the two in front of him focused intently. "I shall not be "dead hooker" on the way back." Loki then disappeared reappearing in the passengers seat. The other two also reacted quickly. The made a mad dash to the door trying to take a seat. In the end it was Clint who was stuck in the trunk. He cursed at his luck. Once in the car Thor, Betty, Bruce, Tony, and Clint all passed out from exhaustion. This caused the others to laugh at their expense. It was a fun group building day that none of them would forget.


	3. The HashSlinging Slasher pt 1

**A/N: Again, this is somewhat based on true events, but I'll explain that at the end. I hope you guys like it****!**

* * *

Thor sighed in frustration as he finished yet another round of channel surfing. Nothing was on. Over 5,000 channels and he could not find a single thing to watch. He fell back on the couch and shut his eyes wishing he could find _something_ to do but he was at a loss. He had already beat every single video game that they owned and that was saying something considering Tony had bought all games in existence. The god of thunder had also recently watched every single movie in the tower that he'd been able to get his hands on so that was out of the question. And it's not like he had anyone to hang out with today either. Bruce was holed up in the lab, Steve and Clint had gone on a date and Pepper had dragged Natasha from the gym and Jane and Betty out of the lab for some sort of Day of Girls. He had no idea where Loki and Tony were for sure, but the Asgardian recalled the billionaire asking Loki to travel with him to Madrid or somewhere for the day. That left Thor. All alone and bored out of his mind.

After laying around for a few more minutes and contemplating his options he decided to head down to the kitchen and fix himself a snack. Once there, he searched through the various pantries and the three fridges located there before deciding on a box of Pop-Tarts. Once he had his favorite snack toasted and piled high on a plate, he made his way back to the living room to try once again to find something to watch. About halfway through the series of networks, he happened upon a a show that he had never really given much thought to before. It involved a perky yellow sea sponge, his starfish best friend and an array of other colorful characters. The god of thunder tried to recall the name of the show from the many conversations he had heard Clint and Tony have about it. Sponge something or other. Patrick? Or maybe it was Bob?

He was drawing a blank but at this moment however, he did not care. He was bored out of his mind, the show seemed entertaining and it really was better than wandering around the tower or even the city aimlessly looking for entertainment. The last time he had done that...well it hadn't ended well. As the massive blonde settled down with his plate full of Pop-Tarts, he started to getting into the show. The sponge and his friend were in fact, as Clint so often pointed out, a riot. He found himself laughing every few seconds and so boisterously that he was surprised no one in the entire tower had barged in.

Hours passed as the god of thunder watched episode after episode loving the show more and more with each passing minute. He especially liked when Spongebob, as Thor had discovered the character's name to be, and his friends had formed a musical group and performed in this Bowl of Bubbles. And the time when Spongebob and the pink one had raised some sort of clam looking creature. Though, Thor wasn't entirely too sure just _how_ they pulled that off? If he was getting this whole biology thing correct, then wouldn't it be slightly preposterous for a sponge and starfish to... Well, he'd just ask Bruce about it later!

_~A few hours later~_

At about 4 in the afternoon, Clint and Steve had returned from their date to find their friend still completely immersed in the cartoon. While Clint had been all for joining Thor and finishing the remainder of the marathon, Steve had declined.

"Hun I swear if I have to hear that gal darn laugh one more time..." He left the threat hanging as he massaged his forehead. He cringed as said laugh sounded throughout the room. "I have no idea why you like this show so much." He said groaning. Deciding that he couldn't take another second, the super soldier left saying that he was going to go take a nap.

A couple more hours passed and seemingly never ending marathon happened upon its last episode. Now this particular episode had started out funny like all the others had and the Asgardian had seen no problem with it. That is until the grumpy anal one decided to tell Spongebob tale of horror.

_"So you're not afraid?"_

_"Pft, nah!"_

_"Well I am. Especially after...well..you know?"_

_"What? What do I know?"_

Thor leaned forward intently now. Yes, what? What had happened? The god began nibbling lightly on the end of a Pop-Tart in nervous anticipation as Squidward continued his tale. Apparently it was all over the news.

_"You mean you've never heard the story of the Hash-Slinging Slasher?"_

"What in Odin's name is this Hash-Slinging Slasher?" Thor watched in suspense as the story continued.

_"But most people just call him 'the Ha-' because that's all they have time to say before he gets them!"_

The god of thunder tried to surpress a shiver as his eyes widened. He looked around the room, trying to see if Clint had returned from the kitchen. No such luck. He groaned nervously, really not wanting to be alone right now. He slowly grew more and more agitated as the tale of this Slasher continued. He subconsciously rubbed his hand when mentions of the Hash-Slinging Slasher losing his hand were mentioned. And then he was hit by a bus.

_"So now every-what day is it?"_

_"Tuesday."_

_"Tuesday night, his ghost returns to The Krusty Krab to wreak his horrible vengeance."_

Thor nervously glanced at the digital clock that hung on the other side of the room and to his dismay, it was indeed a Tuesday. He was torn away from his slowly rising fear as the story continued. There were three signs? Oh gods what were they?

_"First, the lights will flicker on and off."_

The god of thunder glanced at the lights. No flickering. That was good. Right?

_"Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there. And finally, the Hash- Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over. __Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways because he's already dead! Then he taps on the window with his grizzly spatula hand.."_

"No." Thor gasped as he now clutched a blanket close to his chest.

_"He opens the door. He slowly approaches the counter...and you know what he does next?"_

"What? Oh great Odin's beard what does he do?" Thor shouted at the t.v.

At that moment, as Squidward snuck up on a poor, unsuspecting Spongebob, two figures snuck up on an equally poor, unsuspecting Thor. And just as Squidward yelled 'He gets ya', one of the figures shouted the same thing in Thor's ear. Two things happened then. One, Thor jumped about a mile in the air while giving a terrified yell as he whirled around to look at his 'attackers'. And two, Clint ran into the room in a panic, thinking something was wrong. He searched around frantically for an assailant. All the archer saw however was one god of mischief and one billionaire practically rolling on the floor in laughter and one slightly terrified god of thunder who now sat with the blanket covering his face. Clint sighed as he glanced at the two still laughing men.

"What did you two do this time?" Clint crossed his arms over his chest as Loki and Tony finally took notice of his presence.

"Oh hey buddy!" Tony said delightedly as he came up to Clint and clapped him on the back. "Not much just...having a bit of fun is all."

"Yes indeed." Loki added as he came to stand next to both of the shorter men. "It appears as if my brother has gone and scared himself from this show that you and Anthony seem to be so fond of. Mere child's play if you ask me."

"Hey now wait just a moment!" Tony said as he turned to look his boyfriend right in the eye. "Spongebob happens to be an amazing show. And don't call me Anthony."

"Please _Anthony,_" Loki chuckled as he put emphasis on man of iron's name. "It is idiotic and completely unbecoming."

"Unbecoming? You can't be serious?"

"I am quite serious."

As the two argued, Clint just stared at them incredulously. "You guys have got to be kidding me." He glanced back at the couch to see Thor still hiding under the blanket and he felt bad for the other blonde. "What about Thor? He looks completely terrified."

Tony and Loki turned to look at said god. They however just shrugged, looking nonchalant.

"Eh, he'll be fine." Loki stated as he grabbed Tony's hand and they walked off.

"See you guys later." Tony called over his shoulder. "I don't wanna be here when he attacks."

Clint huffed as he glared after them. "Typical." He glanced back at his currently cowering friend on the couch and sighed as he walked over. "Um...hey buddy. You ok there?" Clint ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. He was never really the best with these things.

Thor looked up at him and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. "It's Tuesday."

"Wait..what?" The archer asked in confusion.

"Tuesday." Thor repeated frantically as he scanned the room for any possible threats. "The night that the Slasher of Hash-Slinging attacks. Will...will he attack us here?"

Clint just stared at him for a few more seconds before it dawned on him. "Oh yea. The story. Don't worry about it Thor. Tony and Loki are just pulling your leg. Again." The smaller man sat next to the god of thunder and tugged the blanket off of his towering form. "There's no such thing as the Hash-Slinging Slasher."

Thor looked at him skeptically. "But...the story.." He trailed of as he once again scanned the room.

"It isn't real. Here let me show you." Clint picked up the discarded remote from the coffee table and rewound the episode, stopping where the story ended.

Thor cautiously watched still jumping at the 'suspenseful' moments in the episode. By the end however, he was laughing once more.

As the episode ended, Clint turned towards his friend with a grin on his face. "See? Nothing scary here at all. Besides, I can personally guarantee you that this team is scarier than anything else out there." Thor gave a hearty laugh as he took a sip from the beer that Clint had offered him. "Seriously," Clint continued, " spend even five minutes with us and we're a nightmare."

"Yes, 'tis true. But none more so than my brother and the Son of Stark."

"Yea well..." Clint trailed off as he took a swig from his own beer. A sudden thought came to him. A sudden and devilish thought. "Hey. Hey Thor."

"Yes Brother Clinton?" The god turned to look at his friend.

"Wanna get back at them?"

It was silent for a few moments before Thor cracked quite possibly the most conniving and mischievous smirk upon his face that Clint had ever seen. Even Loki would be put to shame.

"Aye." That was all he said before he extended his beer bottle towards Clint.

Clint also smirked as he clinked his own bottle with the god's and leaned back on the couch. This was going to be fun.

* * *

**A/N: When I was younger, I had a friend in girl scouts. She had invited me and a bunch of other friends to her house for a sleepover. While there, we watched this particular episode of Spongebob and her parents thought it would be fun to sneak up on us much like Tony and Loki snuck up on Thor. Needless to say, no one in that house slept good that night.**


End file.
